I'm Melting ... Mellllllting

I'm still "new" to Portland. I moved here in November, 2012, and have lived through one summer so far, and heading (excitedly) into number two. When you move to a new place, there is a lot of "new" in that new place. And particularly for a weather nerd like me, new includes climate. 

When I was plotting where I was going to move from Atlanta, and scouting out Portland, of course a weather geek like me gathered climatological data and compared it with climate date for Atlanta. Yeah, that's how I roll. So, I knew what I was getting into, from a climatological point of view. 

What I did expect was cooler summers (about 10 degrees on average). What I didn't expect was the human element, "the Portland effect." And it TOTALLY cracks me up. Let me explain.

Today, while running an errand at the post office, a woman and her 6 / 7 year-old son are at the counter getting a package shipped. The guy at the counter leans over the counter and tells the boy "Be careful this week, it's going to get hot!" The kid replies "My dad is going to get out the super soaker." Side note: do you remember the super soaker? The alien-looking water cannon that can soak a kid head-to-toe at a 100 yards or take an eye out at close range? LOL Classic toy. Apparently, the kids still have 'em. 

Random child ready to make water war. 

So, everything sounds normal. Right? It's going to get hot and a dad is going to play with water toys with his son? Well, maybe it would help if I shared the forecast. 

The peak high temperature for the week for Hillsboro, OR is going to be a staggering, blistering, paint-peeling 88 degrees on Wednesday (May 14th). That's Fahrenheit, not Celsius. 88. As in, the number of miles per hour the Back to the Future Delorean needs to travel in time. 88. 

Portland, August 21, 1982. The temperature reached 92!!!

88 is also the temperature at which Portlanders melt, like Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch of the (Pacific North)West melt. And they endlessly moan and groan about how "hot" it is going to be. This postal worker was serious, he meant to be careful, like the kid was going to burst into flames if he was outdoors when the ozone layer evaporated from the scorching hot temperatures. 

Last week, it reached into the upper 70s and while walking to my car one evening after work, a coworker tells me that she missed the cool weather, and that she didn't like this heat. "This heat???" What heat? It's 77 degrees out?!?!?! AND, it was the first week that we actually had some warm weather since last October! People here don't seem to have a sense of what "hot" actually is.

I should also add that it's never humid here. Never. It's a dry warm. Relative humidity humid? Sure, I'll give you that. Georgia summer your gonna sweat walking to your mailbox humid? No. Not even close. In Georgia, you don't ever really "dry off" when you get out of the shower, you just towel yourself until you are slightly less wet than you were IN the shower. 

But to Portlanders, even today was hot. On my drive home from work, I saw a guy walking down the street in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, and it was 74 out! Seriously? Sleeveless t-shirt weather? C'mon bro! LOL I Love this place. 

SO, if you ever want to see thermometers explode, crops wither away into fallow fields, and small children explode into flames right before you eyes, come on out and spend a summer day in Portland. Just be sure to take precautionary measures, it does after all, get into the 80s.